With each generation, Parenting styles Seems to be undergoing some kind of transformation. Gen X parents—often considered first latchkey children—focus on engaged parenting (or in extreme cases, Helicopter or silent parenting), while 3 out of 4 focus on Gen Y (or millennial) parents Gentle parenting.

Meanwhile, new research has shown that The Gen Z parent are moving away from the approach of their parents and grandparents and creating their own hybrid parenting style. They’re focusing on cycle-breaking and cause-and-effect parenting — or a hybrid parenting style, depending on the situation. In fact, according to a survey conducted by Kiddy Academy, only about 38% of Gen Z parents with children ages 0 to 6 use gentle parenting.

“A majority—or 4 out of 5—of parents polled agree that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting,” he says. Casey MillerCEO of Kiddy Academy. Most Gen Z parents, he says, aim for a hybrid approach that blends an average of three different parenting styles.

Digging into the Survey on Gen Z Parenting

Kiddy Academy surveyed 2,000 parents of children ages 0 to 12 6 years old And 54% of Gen Z parents prioritize preparing their kids for the real world, while their millennial counterparts are more focused on supporting their kids mentally and emotionally. Meanwhile, Gen Z parents realize that gentle parenting only works for certain situations.

“In general, young parents believe that parenting styles should be mixed and situational,” says Miller.

According to the survey, these young parents are using various new styles. For example:

• 37% are using cycle breaking (or healing generational trauma)
• 33% are using Involved Parenting (or forming a strong emotional bond)
• 31% prefer cause and effect (or real-world outcomes).
• 20% are using child-led parenting

“Our survey also asked parents how they would manage real-life situations, such as their child threw a tantrum In the car,” says Miller. “Forty-two percent of parents will pull the car over until their child is calm, while 40% will wait until they get home to deliver the result, and 34% will carry their toys for the rest of the ride. These responses mix cause-and-effect parental emphasis with traditional ones authoritative parenting style For a hybrid approach.”

Overall, Miller says the shift away from gentle parenting is part of a larger trend toward blending parenting styles and focusing on each individual child.

“Seven in 10 parents are choosing parenting styles based on what their child needs, as opposed to 23% who are trying to make their preferred style work regardless of their child’s personality,” says Miller.

Where gentle parenting may be lacking

Gentle parenting emphasizes empathy and respectful communication without harsh punishment, he explains Cynthia Weiser, PhD, LPCProgram Director and Associate Professor of Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Lebanon Valley College.

Gen Z parents’ shift away from gentle parenting suggests less pressure to adhere to a single brand of parenting or follow labels. “Instead of following these kinds of labels, parents can focus on what kinds of behaviors are most or least ideal in their families,” Dr. Wager says.

Soft parenting can also be difficult because it requires a lot of emotional labor from the parent, he says Lexi Berard, MA, AMFTA psychiatrist with life after birth. To be effective, parents must have high emotional intelligence and strong emotional regulation skills, she says. In fact, one study found that more than one-third of “gentle parents” Report burnout.

“Nice parenting is really hard and some parents are frustrated themselves,” Berard adds. “A big misconception about this parenting style is that by acknowledging the emotion, you can avoid the anger. That’s not true. No. Parenting style Completely avoids tantrums; It’s about how you react as a parent.”

Gentle parenting also asks you to be present with tension, acknowledge the emotion and wait for it to pass, she says. “I think a lot of parents gravitate to other styles that tell them it’s okay not to dwell on difficult, uncomfortable feelings, and not shame them for being upset with their kids,” Berard says.

‘Cycle breaking’ vs. hybrid parenting

When parents adopt a hybrid approach to parenting, they often incorporate different parenting styles to create their own unique version of parenting. At its core, hybrid parenting depends on your family’s goals and values, as well as your temperament and Your child’s temperamentand parenting in ways that are meaningful to you and your child.

“Hybrid parenting seems to be doing two things at once,” explains Emily Garnotta, PsyD, PMH-CA licensed clinical psychologist, certified perinatal mental health specialist, and owner of Phoenix Health. “It’s considering your child’s feelings while holding your boundaries.”

For example, let’s say your child is screaming because they want more screen time. “The permissive approach is to let them spend more screen time,” Dr. Guarnota says. “A hybrid approach acknowledges emotion, but also maintains boundaries.”

For cycle-breaking parenting, it requires examining how parents were raised, identifying how it affected them and evaluating how they might want to work with their children differently, Berard says.

Why parenting styles can change

Boomer and Gen X parents were raised with a more authoritarian and traditional approach that emphasized obedience, respect for authority, and assertiveness. freedomDr. Guarnotta says. But millennial parents were the ones leading the gentle parenting movement in response to their own childhoods, she says.

“Gen Z parents are new to the conversation,” Dr. Gurnota says. “They grew up seeing millennial parents document their struggles with burnout, and they want to find a place in between.”

What seems to be losing favor among younger parents is the notion that you have to stick to just one parenting philosophy. A flexible, hybrid approach is replacing the idea that you have to be agile 100% of the time.

Dr. Guarnotta also says that this change is not necessarily a rejection of gentle parenting, but an evolution of it.

“Parents today are asking, ‘What is sustainable and realistic for my family?’ “We’re seeing a pushback against picture-perfect parenting and an emphasis on being authentic and considering parents’ mental health,” Dr. Guarnota says.

The benefits of this model are significant, Dr. “Parents who intentionally reflect on family patterns are more likely to have parenting styles that are proactive and free of knee-jerk tendencies that become familiar and automatic across generations,” Weiser explains.

Plus, she says she has a best-of-both-worlds approach, combining empathy and consistent results. They integrate the strengths of different parenting philosophies to avoid divergent outcomes.

“However, there are risks when parenting styles are reactionary in nature—as in, ‘I was angry at my parents for doing X, so I’m going to do the opposite,’” Dr. Wager says. “A balanced, reflective stance helps parents avoid swinging from one extreme to the other.”

What does this mean for parents today?

There is a lot of noise for parents. “We have Google and ChatGPT at our fingertips as well as influencers on social media telling us what to do, what not to do, and how the little things can make a big impact on your kids (whether true or not),” Berard says.

She says it’s a natural reaction to be overwhelmed by information overload and to throw up your hands and react back to what feels right versus what others are telling you to do.

The beauty of a hybrid approach to parenting is that you’re allowed to let go, Dr. Gurnota adds. Take what works from gentle parenting and other parenting styles and leave the rest. Consider your emotional well-being, too, which is important for the marathon of parenting, she says.

“It’s sustainable in the long run for parents,” Dr. Guarnota says. “It’s also clear for kids, because they’re given boundaries. And it’s authentic. It allows parents to be human without trying to be perfect all the time.”